Snow Day #4

 

Today I:

1. Slept till 10
2. Woke up - cooked bacon, egg, and cheese sandwiches. 
3. Attempted to shower, during which the shower became a slow drip while I was washing my hair!
4. Continued to eat the rest of the bacon ALL day.
5. Watched The Last Song and let my hate for Miley Cyrus grow. She ruined a great book.
6. Worked on science experiments in my kitchen. (I have to test everything before I let the students try it out.)
7. Cleaned up the mess I made with food coloring... and got a little nervous about 5th graders making an even bigger mess in my classroom when they experiment. 
8. Dealt with the fact that our water looked like this today:
9. Shoveled my car out AGAIN.... 
10. Then we ordered dinner - since we are snowed-in with no food! 

Clearly I had such a productive day.

Conclusion: Snow = Lazy.

Irrational Panic

Do you ever have those moments of complete irrational panic? When 3 thousand thoughts flash through your mind in the matter of seconds? What causes that? What makes our brains move that quickly when we panic?

Yesterday I was driving and as I was about to pull into the laundromat to pick up my clothes, I drove through a cloud of smoke. In the matter of 3 seconds here are the irrational thoughts I had: 

1. Oh  my god! is the laundromat on fire!?
2. Oh my god! I can't afford to buy all new clothes!
3. Would I get some kind of $$ from the laundromat if that was the case? 
4. ... like insurance or something? 
5. oh oh oh it would be fun to go on shopping spree!
6. ...hmm... wait a second....*sniffs air* that smells more like burning rubber. 
7. Okay... so I don't think the laundromat is on fire... but maybe... 
8. Holy Shit! Is my car on fire!?

Finally... I reach the parking spot. I jump out of my car and take a look at my  hood... no smoke. I also checked my exhaust... looked all clear there...

At last I experience a rational though - 

....oooooh some jack-ass must have been being all big and tough and attempted to peel-out at the stop sign. Hence the smell of burning rubber, hence the smoke. Stupid idiots.

Panic. It's a funny emotion. 

Randomness and Freaks

First of all.... let me apologize for Tuesdays post. What a blog bitch I was being! I try really hard not to use my blog as my own personal soap box to bitch about people and life. I like to be a positive person and roll with the punches. But... with that said... I guess everyone is allowed a bad day once in a while. And I did have two in a row. Anywho - my week has definitely started to look-up.

Yesterday was a perfectly fine Wednesday. I had my dinner wine night with Jeni and we of course talked wedding all night long. Don't get me wrong I love being her maid of honor, but I think after April 2nd I will enjoy a nice big sigh of relief. Oh and don't you worry - it won't be my turn any time soon. I want all that wedding planning and all that comes with it to be on hold for the next few years.

In other news today is yet another snow day! I have only been at my new job for 3 weeks and I have yet to work a full week and then February vacation is right around the corner. Oh the life of a teacher. On the bright side I do love my class - I wonder if I will still love them come July - because by the looks of it that's when the school year will finally come to a close! 

Picture taken from my window. Our cars covered in snow. Yet again. 

Can you see how high the snow banks are getting??

 Wow! That was quite the long ramble of thoughts... sorry about that!

Anyways... what I really wanted to write about today - is how I have come to the conclusion that I attract the biggest freaks! I don't mean that I attract weird men or anything like that. Jonathan is perfectly normal along with most of the other guys I have dated in my life. What I mean is that when out in public minding my own business the strangest, oddest people always approach me! Why?! Always one more random than the next.

1. YESTERDAY - Yesterday I went to CVS to pick up some razors for the boy (aren't razors ridiculously expensive?!) and I was standing in line. This old homely women approaches me. She looked awful - heavy set, white hair, white hairs coming out from her chin, didn't smell all that great... She looked crazy. Which I can't really describe, but she just didn't seem like she was all there. THEN she says to me "Can I ask you a questions?"... In my head I'm thinking she wants my help to find something in the store or to get something for her, which I probably would have been more than obliged to do. But no, she says "Can you please give me a ride home?" I kind of just stared at her for a moment with and "uhhhh" look on my face. Then she says "I just walked here to get some pain medication because my back hurts so much and I don't think I can make it all the way back home - I just live right up the street. First, let me ask - What would you have done? I felt awful - it has just started to snow and it was getting dark, but I can't let some crazy old woman into my car with me. So I politely said "I'm sorry - I'm going in the other direction". Am I awful? Did I do the right thing? 
2. A FEW MONTHS AGO - Two incidents occurred at the laundromat. The first one was a harmless old senile man, who was actually kind of sweet so that didn't bother me so much. He approached me and just started talking to me about random stuff. He asked me if I was a college student, what my major was when I was in school, what kind of job I had now... just random small talk. Then he started talking to me about the trips he takes into Boston on the train. He told me how he goes to the aquarium and the science museum and how last week he had gone whale watching. I responded nicely - "Whale watching! I have never done that. That sounds really awesome.. did you have a good time?" and he said "it was awesome!" And told me to meet him at the train station next weekend and we could go whale watching together. haha... I finished removing my laundry and went to bring it outside and I looked around before opening my car door because even though he seemed harmless I still felt the need to be a little cautious. I looked around and he was no where to be found. It's like he disappeared! OR he was a figment of my imagination. I don't know. 
3. The other time at the laundromat this man found it completely necessary to strike up a conversation with me about his new IPad... which I was totally uninterested in. He randomly started talking to me about it and then insisted on going out to his car to get the IPad and show me all of its awesome features. Snore.. I could careless, but I was having a really hard time avoiding conversation with this man. Maybe he is lonely. He wasn't as much of a freak, more so just annoying, but still work mentioning. 
4. WHEN I WAS WORKING: So as most of you know aside from teaching I'm also a waitress. When I was working at a different restaurant in town. This old homeless looking guy came in. Ordered a coffee and sat and drank it while muttering obscenities. This I found quite odd. I was told later that he is actually not homeless and just the town drunk. Interesting. 
5. WHEN I WAS 19: So this one takes the cake. This was my first real freak encounter. I was going to Dunkin Donuts one morning before class. As I was walking in there was this really crazy looking man standing outside. By crazy - I mean completely wacked-out. Eyes darting back and forth, hands jitterbugging and shaking. He had to be on something. He says to yells at me "will you buy me a coffee!" My response was to keep on walking and ignore him. That did not work. He followed me in and got in line behind me and kept asking me for a coffee. I continued to ignore him. Then he stood right in front of me and started dangling a medallion in front of my face "trying to hypnotize me". He told me "I'm a leprechaun - you will buy me a coffeeeeee" I was terrified. Literally. He was scary. The woman behind him started yelling at the DD workers telling them to kick the guy out. Saying something like "Get this guy out of here - he is terrifying this poor girl" They just ignored what was occurring. Then the guy behind her offered to buy the guy a coffee. I got my coffee and booked it to my car. I don't know whatever happened to the leprechaun man, but I know I will never forget him. 

So - Why do these things happen to me? Do these things happen to everyone? Am I just a small-town girl who is naive to the freaks in the world? If I lived in the city would this happen more often? What do you think?

Manic Monday, Toxic Tuesday

So yesterday was Monday. That in itself always sucks. Am I right? I have never had a Monday suck quite as hard as this one. It sucked so hard that it may have possibly given Tuesday a hickey. Hence why Tuesday kinda sucked too. Not quite as hard as Monday... so I do have a nice outlook on Wednesday. 

Reasons why Monday sucked:

1. It was like -5 degrees out or something retarded like that.
2. SINCE it was so fucking cold... my car refused to start. It was so cold that my battery decided it no longer had the will to live. Now that is fucking cold. I will admit that I probably needed a new battery anyways - but still, I think it really gave up on life due to the cold. So let us mourn my poor suicidal car battery.
3. I got to school late... well not real late. At like 8:12. I'm supposed to be there at 8:10. But this gave me no time to plan before the kiddos trampled in.  I like to be there at like 7:40ish... 
4. Then to top it all off the kids were HORRIBLE all day. Or I was just in a horrible mood so I had zero patience and tolerance. But I think it might have been a little of both. 
5. SO MUCH traffic on our way home. Jonathan picked me up around 5:30ish. That's late to be at school... and then we didn't even get home until 7!
6. When I got home I continued to get aggravated because I realized I left some of my materials at school. I needed to test out the electromagnets for science. Since I was pretty sure the batteries I had at school were dead. Yesterday was a bad day for batteries. 

Monday continues to piss all over Tuesday: 

1. So we had very small hope that MAYBE my battery would miraculously kick some life into my car and start this morning. Negative. 
2. Another day of car pooling - in SO much traffic. I was late again. This time actually late. I arrived at 8:35. But, I arrived before the other two fifth grade teachers. Yes we were all late. Traffic really sucked. We are all coming from different directions too. So for those of you that were bitching about traffic. EVERYONE was dealing with it.

Luckily.... 

Tuesday took a turn for the better. The kids were actually very good today. I think I was more patient too. We got through everything that was planned for the day. Rather than have Jonathan pick me up at 530 again his brother Evan came and got me at 315. This allowed us ample time to come home and replace my battery. Evan was a life-saver today - I can't thank him enough. So let there be life little FordFocus! 

So I have high expectations for Wednesday - although I'm concerned that my afternoon will be destroyed by MORE snow. Oh New England. But I will stop now - before I continue to bitch about the cold, the snow and the traffic - because it's blowing up my facebook wall. And I'm tired of it. We all just need to deal.

Here is some positivity for you - "Few people get weak eyes from looking on the bright side".

Insulted or Loved?

So... today was another snow-day. Which means no work for me and Jonathan working from home. Those of you who have not been to our humble abode - in our computer room our desks are basically right next to each other. So this morning - I wake up fairly late since I didn't have to go to work. I sit down at my computer with my cup of coffee and he says "I stumbled across a picture that made me think of you last night. I'm going to send you the link. Don't be offended". I'm nervous before I even click... but I bite my lip and build up my courage....  I click on the link and find this: 

So the question of the day is..... Should I be insulted that my wonderful better-half just inadvertently told me I have a fat-ass.... or feel loved that he adores me, fat-ass and all??

Morning Sex or Afternoon Delight?

Hello friends! I am testing a theory.

Yesterday when I posted my beer tap post entitled "No Head" my page-views skyrocketed! So I was just curious - did all you pervs just click on it because it sounded a little racy??? ;)


But since I don't want to be a cock computer-tease I will address the question at hand. Do you prefer morning sex or a little afternoon delight?

Disclaimer: Stop reading if you would prefer to know nothing about my sex-life.

Personally - I wish I woke up in the morning revving to go - I'm sure Jonathan wishes that for me as well - unfortunately I just don't. In the morning I feel all groggy and I need some coffee to wake me up and I like to have a clean body and brushed teeth before sex. Maybe instead I should skip the coffee, say to hell with being clean, and not give a shit about my teeth since we are both un-brushed! Maybe I should just let the morning sex wake me up! It does sound like a great way to start the day. However, this article does say that men are far more eager for morning sex than woman. It's science. You can't argue with science.

As for a little afternoon delight - I'm sad to say I don't experience that all that often either. I don't know if it's just that life is busy in the afternoon. Or that sex just isn't on my mind. Or that I'm just not a super horny girl. I wish I was more horny. Is there a way to make that happen? Suggestions?

Maybe I should just have more sex. Maybe this upcoming weekend Jonathan and I will do some field-work in our bed. And test out morning sex, afternoon delight, and regular old night time sex. Maybe by the end of the experiment I will become an advocate for morning sex, or all sex for that matter.

Racy enough for you?

No Head!

Can I just say - How fucking awesome is this? 

Quick, Easy, and No Head.

Just the way I like it.