Best friends. I have always, always had a hard time with this concept.
Let me explain -
I have always been the girl who just can't seem keep a best friend - I think that's the best way I can describe it. I wasn't the girl who met her first friend in kindergarten and stayed friends forever. I've been through countless numbers of "best friends" since I was five years old. Maybe it was me, maybe it was them... but that is neither here nor there. What I personally believe has been the cause of all my friendship dilemmas is that "three is a crowd". I have always had these wonderful friendships and then the friendship somehow manages to grow into three girls, which leads to bickering and bitchiness. I've learned that when three girls are friends there are always instances of cattiness and back-stabbing. I will admit to being both the victim and the perpetrator - both roles are shitty experiences.
As I grew-up and matured I realized that most of the situations I continued to let myself get dragged into were completely toxic. It's sad, painful, and upsetting to have not only one person you thought you could trust, but two turn on you completely. So now in my many different circle of friends - I have no real best friend. I just have a lot of equally awesome friends.
Around the time that a bunch of misery happened in the friendship department I became closer with my cousin Jeni again. We have always been close. Growing up our parents were very close, so in turn we were close. (that is one thing we can both thank our whack-job parents for!) We would spend weekends together, vacations at our grandparents playing with our Barbies and decorating their driveway in sidewalk chalk. But of course there were still times when we would drift in and out of each others lives, but we always found our way back. A few years back we had a lot of family drama occur and it brought us closer than I could ever imagine. We dealt with goodbyes and heartaches. Through it all, we were by each others side. Since then our bond is unbreakable. I don't think we will ever again go through a time in our lives when we "drift" again. We have dinner and wine nights once a week, usually visit our grandmother every sunday, and I'm the maid of honor in her wedding. And when I take the plunge, she will be mine.
It took me until I was about 23 or 24 to realize it, but Jeni has been my best friend from the day I was born. Which is so unbelievably fitting - my family is so important to me. You may not realize this if you read my about my parents, but the people in my family who have been there day in and day out - they are the most important people in my life. Jeni has been more than a best friend. We don't fight, we don't bicker, we don't back-stab. We are just there for each other no matter what. We love each other unconditionally. She is the sister I never had, my therapist, my confidant, my absolute best friend.