Thursday, April 21, 2011

Let's continue on this fast track 22-26

Day 22: What's in your purse?

The better question would be - what's not in my purse?
 And yes... I have my waitress apron on me at all times. Or else I will forget to bring it to work.

Day 23: Favorite Movie
Please refer to DAY # 7 and refrain from asking the same questions twice. Thank-you. 

Day 24: Something you've learned
 "Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering"

Day 25: Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs
This should be interesting... I pretty much only use my I-Pod for the gym... I also haven't been to the gym in four months, therefore haven't updated my I-Pod in quite some time.

  1. Kelly Clarkson - Break Away 
  2. Carrie Underwood - Twisted 
  3. Life House - Undone 
  4. Creed - What If 
  5. Carrie Underwood - Change 
  6. Carrie Underwood - Flat on the Floor 
  7. Gavin DeGraw - We Belong Together 
  8. Fergie - Glamorous
  9. Daughtry - Over You 
  10. Rihanna & Eminem - Love the Way you Lie

Day 26: Your Dream Wedding

I wouldn't really say I have a dream wedding. I just want it to be a wonderful day with the man I love, our families and friends. I want a simple wedding - not extremely traditional. I mainly just want to have a fun day and enjoy every moment of it.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Let's get it done 15-21

Alright... I have come to the conclusion that this 30-day challenge bullshit has gone on long enough and is becoming a nuisance. I contemplated abandoning it mid-way, but decided that I didn't want to be a quitter. I want to get back to writing about real things, about my everyday life - no matter how boring and mundane it can sometimes be.... so to make this move a little quicker. He is a few days on fast foward :) 

Day 15: Bible verse

This one is just silly. I am sooo not a religious person. Therefore... I googled "Bible Quotes". Here is what I came up with: 
  • “Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Given my whole positive outlook on life. I thought this seemed appropriate!  

Day 16: Dream House 

Honestly - I just want a place to call home. Nothing fancy, nothing pricey, just a place for Jonathan and I to grow old together.... With that said if I could choose anything I want I would love... to live in New England, in the suburbs, on a quiet street, right on the lake, with 5 bedrooms, 3 garages, a big wrap around porch, a huge backyard with a gazebo and a pool. I want lots of land too. Maybe someday when we have kids we could convince them how beneficial the outdoors are. 

Day 17: Something you're looking forward to

The future...  

Just kidding... My future. I look forward to everything that is coming. Career, marriage, house, kids, all of it. I look forward to it (but I'm not in any rush for it either). I'm content with my present :) 

Day 18: Favorite Place to Eat

I like to eat at all the restuarants up in North Woodstock. I always feel most relaxed there. Woodstock Station & Pegs are practically the meaning of vacation and relaxation. 

Day 19: Something you miss

Childhood. The days of simplicity. 

Day 20: Nicknames

Trace and TraceFace 

Day 21: Favorite picture of yourself and why?

okay... it might not be my FAVORITE. But it's me being me. Isn't that enough?

Day 14: A picture of you last year - how have you changed?

This is actually my blogger profile picture
This photo was taken just about a year ago. I had bought Jonathan a camera for his birthday and we were just messing around with it. I was "modeling". I love this picture though, I feel like it came out fantastic. I especially like it because I look very happy. 

How I've changed:

  1. Well physically - I look about the same. I don't have any bangs at all anymore. They completely have grown out. I always contemplating cutting them again, but I'm so indecisive. My hair is still really long, but has some reddish, light brownish streaks in it now. And I think I may have lost like 5 pounds or so since I started working full time. 
  2. Emotionally - I'm much more positive. I don't let the small stuff in life spoil a good day. I take life as it comes. I try to laugh more and just have fun. 
  3. In my relationship - I think we have grown even more closer this past year. I think taking the time to get over that tough bump in the road really brought us closer together. We truly are just an extremely happy couple. 
  4. I have a job that I love... while last year I had a job that I hated. 
  5. I've had some friendships grow and some friendships fade.
Overall though ... I'm still me. I think that's just the way it should be. 

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Day 13: Goals

I think it has been long enough. Have you missed me? 

DAY 13: Goals

Well this is a fairly easy topic for me. Looking on the positive side of life I am fortunate enough to have goals. I know plenty of people in my life who I believe seem to have no goals in life. I think goals are so important. It is important to strive for something, to want better. Nothing should ever be perfect... it is human nature to want more. However, I believe it is strength to go out there and get it.

1) Full-time permanent teaching job. 
  • If you know anything at all about me.. you know that this is my number one goal at the moment. I have a wonderful job right now, unfortunately that is the problem. It is for right now. Come June I'm searching for a permanent position again. That's going on 4 summers of my life searching for my place in a school district. Maybe this is the year... 
2) Buy a house and make it a home with Jonathan. 
  • Jonathan and I have been talking about this for a while now. We want to own a home, but first I must complete goal number one. We need more financially stability. We don't want to get ourselves in too deep. 

    That's really it right now. I have a billion little goals that I want to achieve, but those are the big ones. Those are the goals I want to build my future around.

    Monday, April 4, 2011


    Sorry for my long absence. The past few weeks I have gotten so busy with life that blogging about life was kind of put on hold. But alas, I am back. And as promised I will publish my Maid of Honor toast now that the wedding is over. 
    First I want to thank everyone for being here tonight to celebrate this wonderful occasion. Seeing all of you here tonight is a true testament to the type of people Jeni and Mark are. It’s clear that they have touched so many lives and have so many wonderful people that care about them. For those of you who don’t know me – I am Jenilee’s cousin Tracy. Jeni and I have grown-up together. We have spent many school vacations at our grandparents’ house decorating the driveway with side-walk chalk, rollerskating and playing with our Barbies. Jeni and I have been through a lot of memorable and amazing times in life, but we have also been through some pain and heartache together as well. The bond we have is hard to explain – but I can tell you one thing she is more like my sister than my cousin and she is certainly my best friend. Before Jeni and Mark found each other – she had dated a lot of “stiffs” as she would call them. But when her and Mark got together you could immediately tell that he was a genuine guy. And that he cared about her in a way that no other man ever did or ever will. The way Mark puts up with her craziness and loves her unconditionally is something beautiful to see. The two of them are a team – they have fun together, they laugh together, they work together, and they grow together. The love these two share is something wonderful to witness. I could not ask for a better man in my cousins life and I am so grateful that she has someone to love her, care for her, and protect in the way that Mark will each and every day.  I would like to take a moment to mention and remember a few other amazing men who couldn’t be with us tonight… and I wanted to tell you Jeni that both your dad and Grampy are looking down at  you today with tears glistening in their eyes feeling so proud and so happy for you.  And I can promise you that they are not worried one bit, because they know that you have this amazing, wonderful man in your life to take care you now and forever.  So Mark – welcome to our family cousin-in-law! The two of you are the pure example of the kind of love Jeni and I dreamed about when we were little girls. So I ask now for you to all raise your glasses and toast – to the bride and groom!

    By the way... the wedding was awesome. 

    Monday, March 21, 2011

    New Hair!

    I have totally not been in the blogging mood lately. I'm sorry for my absence. Hopefully I will jump back onto my blogging train this week.... but until then. What do you think of my new hair???

    Blond and Red Streaks!!!

    When you look at it from the top it looks a little drastic.

    Wednesday, March 16, 2011


    So as some of you know from my Being a Maid of Honor  post that I am the Maid of Honor in my cousin Jeni's wedding. Jeni is also the best friend I referred to in a recent post

    Being a Maid of Honor you have many duties. Planning the bridal shower, the Jack and Jill, the Bachelorette Party, and generally just being there for the bride for anything she could possibly need. (BTW I have loved every second of being my cousin's maid of honor) Among these jobs... I must also include a very important job. The speech.  I am of course expected to say a heartfelt speech at the wedding. Most would think that I spend my entire work day talking in front of people so this should come as a breeze... but I talk in front of 10 year olds... not a room full of 130+ guests at a wedding! It's very different.I also have this chronic condition when I get nervous... my entire chest turns bright red. So the girl in the purple dress who looks like a lobster - that'll be me! 

    Anyways... I wrote a rough draft of my speech months ago. I happened to open it up today (since I should probably think about finalizing it since the wedding is like 3 weeks away!). I actually wrote this original speech on December 30th.  I read it over today... and though it AGAIN brought tears to my eyes... I really don't think I'm going to change a thing. I guess it really isn't all that difficult to write wonderful things about two amazing people in your life. 

    Now let's just hope I can get through the entire speech at the wedding without crying. I'm doubting that. 

    Maybe after the wedding I'll post a copy of the speech on my blog if my readers are interested. What do you think?

    Day 12: Something you don't leave the house without

    This is an extremely boring blog entry because I'm not really a person who feels compelled to ALWAYS bring something in particular with me when I leave the house. If I forget my phone - I won't go back for it, unless I know I'm going to be gone for a while. So I guess.... if I had to pick something that I never leave the house without.... I'd have to say....

    My cell phone and  my keys.

    Monday, March 14, 2011

    Day 11: Favorite tv shows

    I have lots of favorite TV shows. I love TV. Maybe a little too much. I watch such crap too... haha at least I can admit it though.

    All time favorite has got to be:

    Next, I'm a huge fan of:

    Those two are my all time favorite tv shows... But I also enjoy

    I like other shows as well. But these are all my favorites. I know I have horrible taste. I admit it :)

    Sunday, March 13, 2011

    Day 10: Something you're afraid of

    Today is again... not a lazy Sunday. I will be spending the majority of my day finishing up my report cards. Ugh. All teachers know that one of the worst parts of the job is having to correct work constantly.... and having to do report cards. It's the comments that kill you. I have to write 21 positive comments on report cards. Long ass day today will be. So those of you who think we are lucky because our work day ends at 3 - it doesn't we always bring work home. And those of you who think we are so lucky to have three vacations and summer's off... if we didn't have this time off we would become so burnt out and your kids would be better off learning from a rock....

    But since I know you are ALL dying to know what I'm afraid of here it is..... 

    Nope. Not bugs, or snakes, or heights, or death.... I'm afraid of this: 

    I'm afraid that I'm going to be a substitute teacher forever and never have my own classroom. Granted my job right now is more than just subbing. I am their teacher now and for the rest of the school year, but I'm still "filling in". Come September I will be jobless again...and spend my summer interviewing and searching again. I just fear that I am never going to catch that break, that I'm never going to be hired permanently.

    Saturday, March 12, 2011

    Day 9: A favorite picture of your best friend

    Best friends. I have always, always had a hard time with this concept.
    Let me explain -

    I have always been the girl who just can't seem keep a best friend - I think that's the best way I can describe it. I wasn't the girl who met her first friend in kindergarten and stayed friends forever. I've been through countless numbers of "best friends" since I was five years old. Maybe it was me, maybe it was them... but that is neither here nor there. What I personally believe has been the cause of all my friendship dilemmas is that "three is a crowd". I have always had these wonderful friendships and then the friendship somehow manages to grow into three girls, which leads to bickering and bitchiness. I've learned that when three girls are friends there are always instances of cattiness and back-stabbing. I will admit to being both the victim and the perpetrator - both roles are shitty experiences.

    As I grew-up and matured I realized that most of the situations I continued to let myself get dragged into were completely toxic. It's sad, painful, and upsetting to have not only one person you thought you could trust, but two turn on you completely. So now in my many different circle of friends - I have no real best friend. I just have a lot of equally awesome friends. 

    Around the time that a bunch of misery happened in the friendship department I became closer with my cousin Jeni again. We have always been close. Growing up our parents were very close, so in turn we were close. (that is one thing we can both thank our whack-job parents for!) We would spend weekends together, vacations at our grandparents playing with our Barbies and decorating their driveway in sidewalk chalk. But of course there were still times when we would drift in and out of each others lives, but we always found our way back. A few years back we had a lot of family drama occur and it brought us closer than I could ever imagine. We dealt with goodbyes and heartaches. Through it all, we were by each others side.  Since then our bond is unbreakable. I don't think we will ever again go through a time in our lives when we "drift" again. We have dinner and wine nights once a week, usually visit our grandmother every sunday, and I'm the maid of honor in her wedding. And when I take the plunge, she will be mine.

    It took me until I was about 23 or 24 to realize it, but Jeni has been my best friend from the day I was born. Which is so unbelievably fitting - my family is so important to me. You may not realize this if you read my about my parents, but the people in my family who have been there day in and day out - they are the most important people in my life. Jeni has been more than a best friend. We don't fight, we don't bicker, we don't back-stab. We are just there for each other no matter what. We love each other unconditionally. She is the sister I never had, my therapist, my confidant, my absolute best friend.  

    Thursday, March 10, 2011

    Day 8: A place you've traveled to

    This one is super easy for me because unfortunately, I have hardly traveled at all in my whole life.

    This past year I went to Disney World with Jonathan and his family. It was my first time in Florida. Here is a favorite pic of my in front of the castle:

    Monday, March 7, 2011

    Day 7: Favorite movies

    This is such a difficult topic for me! It should be simple, but it’s not. I love movies. All movies. I don’t think I really have any movies in my life that are the end all, be all of movies. I don’t think I really have any movies that particularly stand out above the rest. I like everything too - kids movies, chick-flicks, drama, action, horror, comedy, documentary, etc.

    So I will do my best to give you a list (some are bundled together based on similarity or actor). But my favorites change constantly. So this is difficult.

    •  All of the "Harry Potter" movies (even if they aren’t nearly as good as sitting down and reading the books) I’m in love with Harry Potter weekends on ABC family. 
    • "27 Dresses", "The Holiday", "The Notebook", "Love Actually", "Definitely, Maybe", "In Her Shoes", "The Last Kiss" (I’ll watch basically any chick-flick)
    •  "The Shawshank Redemption" (This is Jonathan’s favorite movie. I watched it with him for the first time ever. And it really is fantastic)
    •  "Inception", "Shutter Island", "The Departed" (I also love basically all Leonardo Dicaprio movies. He is probably my most favorite actor)
    • All 3 "Toy Story" movies, "Monsters Inc", "Finding Nemo" (I love Pixar movies)
    • "Little Mermaid", "Aladdin", "Beauty & the Beast", "Cinderella" (my childhood favs)
    • "Back to the Future" (1, 2, & 3)
    • "The Breakfast Club"
    • "Stand By Me"
    • "Forrest Gump" 

    Sunday, March 6, 2011

    Day 6: A picture of something that makes you happy

    A nice easy blog for a not-so-lazy Sunday. I usually enjoy my lazy Sundays, but today I cleaned a ton, planned a whole bunch for school, organized myself to start report cards soon and corrected all the uncorrected work I had piling up. Here are a picture of a few things that make me happy:

    The beach - although I'm sad to say I have never been anywhere tropical.     

    My family

    The wonderful man in my life

    and last but not least, my kitty Diablo.     

    I have plenty of things in my life that make me happy. These were just to name a few :)

    Thursday, March 3, 2011

    Day 5: A song to match your mood

    Yesterday's post was a hard one to write. I am very grateful for the wonderful responses I got regarding it. Thank you all for being supportive and compassionate. I also got an email from a friend who told me she can certainly relate to a lot of what I said. We chatted a bit on the phone today and it is nice to know that even though the circumstances are not identical that someone sort of understands the pain my parents have caused.

    With that said... my song of choice today is:

    Wednesday, March 2, 2011

    Day 4: Your Parents

    Sorry for my short blogging hiatus. I will be completely honest with you - it is 100% due to the fact that I have been completely procrastinating on this particular blog topic. When I ventured out into this 30 Day Challenge I had good intentions to tell my stories using full disclosure as much detail as I could consciously muster up.

    **Disclaimer** If you are someone who believes a blog shouldn't be too personal. Then stop reading... because this blog is about as personal as it gets. It's raw, painful, sad, and truth.

    If it were only this simple.

    First of all, I like to start off by saying I did not create the blogger topic list myself. I Googled "30 Day Blog Challenge" and found it. With that said, I can only assume that the person who created the list figured that blogging about your parents should not be too difficult or too personal. I bet the person who created the list had those kind of parents who were supportive and wonderful; people that they can always turn to. But maybe I shouldn't assume... I sure don't want to be called an ass.

    Anywho, I'm not a person who can describe my parents as wonderful, supportive, influential people. In all honesty, my parents are a complete mess and I am currently not on speaking terms with either one. So here are the basics. This is probably just about as personal as it gets - so I will do my best with the details.

    My dad was a good man at some point in his life. At least I hope he was. I hope that when he married my mom and started our family that he really did want to be a good dad. I think he tried. At first anyway. For as long as I can remember my dad has been an alcoholic. My parents split-up when I was seven. I used to spend the weekends with him and at the bright age of ten I decided to put an end to that since our weekend trips would always end at a bar. As a little kid I would plead with him to stop drinking. I would write him letters about how all I want is for him to stop. Nothing worked. He wouldn't stop. He became an embarrassment. I didn't want my friends to meet him. I told my mom not to invite him to my high school graduation party. By the time I was fifteen I made the decision that I was done with him. In the past eight years I have seen him a handful of times. Once I visited him in the hospital when he crashed into a school bus. Once I saw him at my Memere's wake. Once I saw him at the funeral. And once I saw him at the bank - when he surprisingly decided to sign his life insurance policy over to me. He is a mess. Aside from being an alcoholic he is also a drug addict. To be completely honest it shocks me that he is still alive. The way he destroys himself each and everyday. It is a miracle. The difference between my mom and dad though... is I have come to terms with who he is. I learned that he would never change when I was ten years old. So I stopped being hurt by it and I just dealt with it. It is what it is became my attitude. I'd love to be a little girl who has her dad's shoulder to cry on, but I'm not. I'm stronger because of it though.

    My mom is a good person with a good heart. I will never deny that. She is also an alcoholic and also one of the most selfish people I know. Maybe she is so selfish because when we were kids she was so selfless, but aren't you supposed to be that way with your kids? My mom was my best friend up until I was about seventeen. She was there for me whenever I needed her. Despite the fact that she was a single mother with little money she honestly did the best she could for us. She went to every soccer game, every cheer-leading competition, bought me a prom dress, everything. I also trusted her. I could talk to her in a way that most kids couldn't talk to her parents. She knew about my friends, boys in my life, I even told her about losing my virginity. Everything. During all of this time - I would describe her as a functional alcoholic. She drank every day, but she still functioned as well. She went to work, she cooked, she cleaned, she was a mom. And a good one at that. But by the time I had started college her drinking had gotten worse and she went through some kind of midlife crisis (I guess we would call it). She lost her job. Lost a relationship with her sister due to a family feud (that I honestly do take her side on, btw). And she gained a relationship with a man who is so completely horrid that I can't even describe my disdain for him. He is a drug addict and abusive. Long story short (because getting into the nitty-gritty might just be TMI) the past four years she was in and out of jail - all DUI charges. I was there for her through all of it. Every two weeks I went to visit and brought her everything she needed. I gave her money, sent her letters, brought her dinner. I was the only one that was ever there for her. We had a plan. When she got out she was to move in with my Grammy (who is 91) and take care of her. Well not even a month into moving in she let her boyfriend move in - we all thought they had broken up. All hell broke out in the family. She broke her probation, went back to jail and blamed it on us. We have hardly spoken since. I sent her a very long winded letter about how I can't do it anymore. I can't be her support. She needs to take care of herself, blah, blah, blah. I also went into detail about how that man will never be part of my life and listed all of the things she will miss out on if she chooses to be with him. I told her when I have kids they will not be allowed to be around him, that when I get married he will not be welcome at my wedding, that I will never spend holidays with her if he is there, etc, etc, etc.  So basically she choose to be with this man sorry excuse for a man instead of part of a family that supported her through everything. The last time we spoke was for three minutes on my birthday, in October. Why three minutes? Because she had to hang up - she was using up her cell phone minutes.

    So that about sums it up. That is my sad little tale.

    I don't hate my parents. In all honesty I love both of them very much. I will forgive my mom eventually - she just needs to work at it. Unfortunately, she isn't. She isn't putting the effort in. So why should I?  I'll tell you this though I worry about my mom each and every day.

    The reason I don't reach out anymore. Is because I don't want to be hurt anymore.

    When life kicks you down... you get back up and you are a better person for it. My parents didn't teach me much in life, but they did teach me what I didn't want to be. I didn't want to be them. I wanted to be better. And I am. Everything I have in my life - I have because I worked my ass off to get it and you know what? I bet I appreciate it way more than the kids who had those parents who paid their ways through school and bailed them out anytime they were in trouble.

    In light of it being Dr. Seuss' birthday - this quote seemed appropriate.

    “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” ~ Dr Seuss

    Thursday, February 24, 2011

    Day 3: Your first love

    When I was a 16 year-old melodramatic basket case I had this quote written in permanent marker on the back of my door ( could still see it even when we attempted to paint over it):

    "The heart does heal and you will love like this again... only when you do, you will deny ever loving like this before." 

    Now I will admit, most of my teen years were spent in turmoil, like most teens. I had my fair share of heartbreaks and let downs from boys in life.  I have also had my fair share of boyfriends. I have always been a boyfriend-girl even from the early points in life.  When I was in kindergarten... I came home from the first day of school and wildly exclaimed, "I FINALLY have a boyfriend".... Then when I was in the fifth grade my bus-driver told me I was "fickle"... when I went home and asked my mom what that meant she said, "it means you change your mind a lot" I thought about this for a moment and then asked "why would she say that?" my mom coyly responded with, "well who is your boyfriend today?"

    But I digress. I don't think I ever truly understood the meaning of love back then (when I was 5, when I was 10, or when I was 16) I don't think anyone does really. Even if you marry your high school sweetheart, when you are 16 how can you possibly know it's real, it's forever?? Through all my life I have stayed true to this particular quote. I think throughout your life you grow and change and the person that you are ultimately meant to be with becomes your true love... so it is kind of hard for me to define what my first love truly is without defining what exactly love means to me. What I am trying to say is even at all those moments in your life when you "think it's love" it really isn't because the love of your true love is far beyond any feelings you could have felt for anyone that came before him(/her). That's why 10 years later I still believe in that quote that I held so dear to me when I was a 16 year old nutcase!

    But before you all start thinking I am trying to dodge the question at hand... I do have someone I suppose I would consider my first love. When I started college, I met a boy. Living in the dorms you are in very close proximity to everyone and for that reason our relationship progressed quickly, much too quickly. At the time I also had a lot of family problems going on at home and his parents were living many states away. At age 19 I moved into an apartment with him. Our relationship was a roller-coaster. It was hot and cold constantly. He was mean. I didn't have any friends, any self-worth, or any life of my own when I was with him. But because he was there for me during a tough time in my life I thought that it was love. I thought we would work through the difficult times and things would get better and we would be together always. Of course, it didn't turn out that way and I thank my lucky stars everyday now. He got transferred for work and didn't even take me into consideration when it happened, so we split up and went our separate ways. It was wonderful. I grew into my own person, got a whole bunch of new friends and reconnected with old.  Looking back on it I can't even imagine that at one point in time I actually believed that was love.

    Now, I'm with Jonathan and I could not ask for more. Now for the first time in my life I know what love really is. We have a partnership, an understanding, compassion, and we are best friends. So that's why I still believe in that quote because now that I'm with him... I know that everything that came before him was all fabrication, it wasn't love. Not real love anyway. So I guess in a way... my first love is my true love. My only love.

    Wednesday, February 23, 2011

    Day 2: Meaning behind your blog name

    Those of you who have been following me from the start of this whole blogging journey know that my blog name wasn't always "Life's Little Stepping Stones". I changed my name a back in January (so really not all that long ago). I wrote a post about my decision at the time entitled What's in a name? . You can check it out to get the jist of why I decided to chuck the name "Back to Square One". But the short version is that my blog was meant to be positive and I decided describing myself as a person at "square one" wasn't exactly positive. I was never at square one. I'm in love, I have a roof over my head, and I have a career.

    So after taking suggestions from friends and followers I came up with a new concept, which of course was, "Life's Little Stepping Stones".  I decided on this name because I honestly felt that everything in my life is sort of temporary, but I think that is what life is really. You have to take a whole bunch of little steps to get exactly where you want to be. Then by that point your goals have evolved even further and you need to take even more steps. Hence, "Life is about each and every step you take".

    Take my job for instance - I have been out of school for 3 years and still do not have permanent work, BUT I have taken a whole bunch of little steps in the right direction to succeed in my goal. Eventually, I will have my own classroom and have stability in a school district, but it is taking some extra steps to get there. Another example - our apartment. Jonathan and I live in a nice two bedroom apartment. Is it our life's goal to live here forever? No, of course not. But it is part of our journey. We are here until we take the right amount of steps in the right direction to owning our own home. Same thing with our relationship... we have been together for over two and half years and we are happy and content at the moment. We are in no rush to get married and in no rush to have kids. All of those things that will encompass our future need to be reached in steps, not leaps.

    As for the stepping stones... well some steps are harder to take than others. Some steps you need to prepare your mind a bit, so that you don't end up tripping and falling into the water with a giant splash!  And if you do have a misstep, that's okay too... because we grow and change because of our missteps, our mistakes. It takes courage and strength to pick ourselves up and dry ourselves off... and it even takes a little courage to laugh at our klutzy-ass selves.

    I hope all of "Life's Little Stepping Stones" lead me to greatness and happiness.

    Monday, February 21, 2011

    Day 1: Introduce, recent picture of yourself, 15 interesting facts

    I decided to do this whole challenge thing because I was really looking for something to get my creative juices flowing. Mainly so I could really get back to writing about things that matter. When I first started my blog my intentions were to blog about things that were stressful or things that I just needed to get off my chest. When I started. it was about me and life's difficulties. Lately it has been about random funny shit... or it's been about bitching about work. I want to get back to the basics and write about things that matter. So my intentions of this challenge is to give my readers the opportunity to get to know me... and to give me the opportunity to open up a little bit more about all the shit that really matters. Because that's what life is made of. The shit that counts. Poetic isn't it?

    So.... recent photo: 

    This is me right around Christmas. Recent enough?
    1. My name is Tracy. Only those closest to me call me Trace. If you are not close to me and you call me Trace I find it extremely weird. 
    2. My favorite # is 22. I don't really have a reason except that I like 2's, but only when they are together. 
    3. I have had two cats in my life that I would describe as my own. Both black. Both named after the devil - Damien and Diablo. No I'm not a Satanist.
    4. Teaching is my passion. But on hard days - I admit to questioning the path I have chosen to follow. 
    5. I hate Peas. 
    6. My brothers are two of the most important people in my life. Even though I don't think they realize it. 
    7. I wish I was talented, but I'm not. I can't play an instrument or sing, I'm not an artist. I'm just ordinary.
    8. When I'm nervous, excited, frazzled, upset, or any potential emotion that gets my adrenaline running my neck and chest breaks out in hives. (getting through observations in Grad School was a nightmare). 
    9. I worry about my mother each and every day - even though I pretend not to care. 
    10. When liquid drips on my windshield I feel compelled to turn on the windshield wipers... I can't stand looking at the long stream of water dripping down the center of the window. 
    11. I'm horrible at keeping in touch with people... I try, I really do. I just suck at it. 
    12. Sometimes my favorite nights with Jonathan are spent in pj's, cuddling on the couch, annoying each other in silly ways.
    13. Growing up I was constantly surrounded by guys - hence why I was a huge tomboy. 
    14. I could live off soup and pasta.
    15. Even though most of my family has let me down in such catastrophic ways - it makes me believe that the ones that are still here everyday are utterly amazing. 

    Sunday, February 20, 2011

    Trixie's Night Life

    Last night was a little bit silly. So I thought I would breifly share the escapades before I get started on my Blogger Challenge tomorrow.

    Being a waitress at a restaurant/pub I see a lot of interesting people come and go throughout the night. Last night - was certainly a night for all the crazies to come out. It was a relatively busy night, but not overall insane or anything. I made good money but didn't feel like I was running ragged all night long. Those are my favorite kinds of nights.

    So I had a party of four come in around 8 o'clock. They had clearly been out drinking prior to hitting the good ol' PHG. They ordered some appetizers and beers and were generally just a happy bunch of people. But definitely extremely intoxicated and extremely loud. We had a musician last night and they were screaming out requests at him left and right. Luckily I only had two tables and my other table was a sweet couple who told me "You can't see side shows like this in Boston!". Throughout the entire experience I gritted my teeth and kept on smile being the "good little waitress". The creepy old men kept telling me how beautiful I am.. and asking me if I had a boyfriend. All four of them kept forgetting my name. At one point they named me Trixie. So I figured that must just be my alter-ego that comes out at night to get a little wild.  Either that - or I resemble a hooker or porn star.

    Clearly, this story isn't all that exciting. Just odd. I thought I would share. haha.

    Also... after I finished my shift I went to a little dive bar in my town that my friends and I all hang out at. On Saturday night they do kareokee and we all get silly and sing, drink beers, play pool, and laugh. Last night was the "beach party" and I won a bottle of wine doing the limbo. I'm not gonna lie - I was pretty proud.
    Did I mention all three winners, myself included, were about the size of this dog?
    Overall - it was a great night for Trixie.

    Friday, February 18, 2011


    First - I would like to thank everyone for your kind words on my post yesterday. I appreciate all your thoughts regarding my posts about school. Most of you indicated that you didn't think what I was writing about was too much to worry about. However, I have decided to stick with my gut and just keep work where it belongs - at work. Hopefully I will find some inspiration to spice up my blog with other interesting topics to fill that void. 

    Second - It's February vacation!! Hallelujah! **Does Happy Dance** I think both the kids and I need breaks from one another. I'm hoping for a fresh start once we get back. 

    Third - Since I am having a difficult time finding inspiration, I am going to try a 30 Day Blog Challenge. To be honest, when I first noticed other bloggers participating in these challenges I thought it was sort of a cop-out. But with my current blogger frustration I have realized that a challenge may just provide me with the inspiration I'm looking for. So for the next 30 days enjoy getting to know me through this fun challenge: 
    Day 0: The 30 Day Challenge Explanation and Description
    Day 1: Introduce, recent picture of yourself, 15 interesting facts
    Day 2: Meaning behind your blog name
    Day 3: Your first love
    Day 4: Your parents
    Day 5: A song to match your mood
    Day 6: A picture of something that makes you happy
    Day 7: Favorite movies
    Day 8: A place you've traveled to
    Day 9: A favorite picture of your best friend
    Day 10: Something you're afraid of
    Day 11: Favorite tv shows
    Day 12: Something you don't leave the house without
    Day 13: Goals
    Day 14: A picture of you last year - how have you changed?
    Day 15: Bible verse
    Day 16: Dream house
    Day 17: Something you're looking forward to
    Day 18: Favorite Place to Eat
    Day 19: Something you miss
    Day 20: Nicknames
    Day 21: Favorite Picture of yourself ALL TIME Why?
    Day 22: What's in your purse?
    Day 23: Favorite Movie
    Day 24: Something you've learned
    Day 25: Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs
    Day 26: Your Dream Wedding
    Day 27: Original Photo of the city you live in
    Day 28: Something that stresses you out
    Day 29: 3 Wishes
    Day 30: a picture of yourself this day and 5 good things that happened since you started the challenge

    Last - Please be aware that I probrably will not blog for 30 consecutive days, but I will be sure to cover all of these topics within 30 seperate posts. I may throw a random post in as well here or there (if I get inspired).