Pride.

Pride is defined in the following ways:

• a feeling of self-respect and personal worth
• satisfaction with your (or another's) achievements; "he takes pride in his son's success"
• the trait of being spurred on by a dislike of falling below your standards

When looking at the definition it seems that having pride is a good thing. But what about having too much pride? What happens when your pride makes you believe you deserve better or are worth more? Is that a good thing? Or is that a terrible thing? I have never thought of myself of having too much pride until I evaluated my current situation with a little more depth.

Don't get me wrong I openly admit that I have pride and I definitely don't think that is a bad thing. I am proud of myself for a variety of reasons. I work hard, I fight for what I want, and I have goals. I got myself through college and obtained two degrees with no help from my parents. I've been on my own since I was nineteen and been very independent and responsible. I think all of those things are great things to be proud of.

But what happens when your pride makes you not want to do things beneath what you feel you are capable of? Pride is "the trait of being spurred on by a dislike of falling below your standards". So should I not take a job below my "standards" or is that completely pig-headed of me? I hate substituting for this very reason! Because I feel like I am capable of so much more! Because I feel like the person's classroom who I am in could just as easily be mine if someone would just give me the chance!! I hated my job in Westford because I again felt like I was capable of so much more and I didn't get much respect. But then I'm the moron sitting here with no money feeling sorry for myself. I feel like my pride is what held me back from returning to Chelmsford last year. After I didn't get the fourth grade position that I wanted I shut down. My pride was hurt and I didn't want to be back in that town. Maybe if I had gone back and substituted all last year something would've opened up for me this year. My pride got the best of me and I lost touch with all my great friends/contacts I made in Chelmsford as well. Then again.. this year I leave Westford because I felt like I had no respect... maybe if I stayed and gained respect I would've slowly but surely moved up the ladder. (I won't dwell on the Westford one though - cause I don't want to work in that town anyways)...

So what I am getting at is do I have too much pride? Is that what is holding me back? Should I just accept that everyone deals with what I am dealing with? (even though that's not what it feels like when I see most people I graduated do have full time teaching jobs, and alas, I do not) Should I just start from my bottom and work my way up because that's just how it works! I guess where the pride gets to me the most.. is I thought I was doing that. I thought that I had already paid enough dues by now to be a full time teacher, but I guess not. I guess I just have to keep working up the ladder... I know that I should, and I know that I will do just that... but it sucks that pride can sometimes get the best of you. And I think at times during my career as a teacher it definitely has gotten the best of me.

Quotes about Pride Pride is a tricky, glorious, double-edged feeling. Pride is increased by ignorance; those assume the most who know the least. It's a fine thing to rise above pride, but you must have pride in order to do so. It was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels.